A Fight Worth Having

I gave birth to my daughter, and I've never been this excited for spring. Not like this. I kept imagining showing my winter baby the beauty of it — the warmth of the sun on our faces, our backs, our shoulders. All of this I get to experience anew, through her eyes. A pace I used to run from. Her eagerly discovering things life trained me to overlook.

Last year we started seeds — a lot of them. Some made it. Some didn't. And then the summer got heavy and my belly got bigger and the garden got put on the back burner. In the beginning we were so diligent. Grow lights, watering schedules, the right companions in the right spots. And then slowly, gradually, we walked past it. Forgot to notice what was right in front of us.

Eyes that are open. A mind and heart that are present. She's made it a fight worth having. Stripping away everything I was chasing in all its futility — and finding out what was actually worth tending to.

So when we were outside the other day getting some fresh air, we discovered the tulips my husband planted last fall. Coming up through the ground, just like that. I slowed down, letting her see the colors. I told her those were flowers. Tulips that daddy planted.

That's what this season is about for me.